When knowing isn’t enough to change what we do, it can leave us wondering why making healthy changes sometimes feels harder than we expect.
Have you ever known what would support your health and wellbeing, yet found yourself doing something else?
Perhaps you know you feel better when you move your body, but some days getting started feels difficult. You know a nourishing meal would leave you feeling good, yet when you’re tired, whatever is easiest can be far more appealing. Or perhaps you’ve made a change you genuinely wanted to make, only to find yourself slipping back into an old habit.
It can leave us wondering, “I know what I want to do, so why don’t I always do it?”
A question I first encountered through Dr Libby Weaver has stayed with me, “Why do we do what we do, when we know what we know?”
The more I’ve thought about it, the more curious I’ve become. Because knowing what supports our health is important, but knowledge is only one part of the picture. Our thoughts, emotions, habits, experiences, environment and physical needs can all influence what we do. And sometimes, understanding those influences can be more helpful than simply telling ourselves to try harder.
That curiosity has led me to explore the connection between neuroscience, wellbeing coaching and nutrition. Not because I have all the answers, but because I want to understand more about how we work and how we can use that understanding to support ourselves in everyday life.
It has also inspired me to begin developing BE WELL, a simple framework for exploring the gap between knowing and doing.
The idea is not to create another set of rules to follow. It is to become more aware, get curious about what influences us, and discover small, realistic ways to work with ourselves rather than against ourselves.
Because perhaps the question is not simply, “Why can’t I make myself do what I know?”
Perhaps it is, “What might be making this difficult, and what could help?”
In this article
Take your time, read from the beginning, or skip ahead to whatever sparks your interest.
Why knowing and doing are not always the same thing
If knowing what supports our health were enough to make change easy, most of us would have it all worked out by now.
We might know that regular movement helps us feel better, that nourishing food supports our health, or that getting enough sleep makes a difference to our energy and mood. Yet knowing these things doesn’t always mean we can put them into practice consistently.
Why?
Because our choices don’t happen in isolation. They happen in the middle of real life. We make decisions when we’re tired, busy, stressed, distracted or surrounded by competing demands. We also bring our habits, experiences, preferences and needs into those moments. Sometimes the choice that feels easiest right now is not the one we had planned to make.
Research into what is known as the intention-behaviour gap shows that wanting to make a change and actually making it are related, but they are not the same thing. Research into physical activity, for example, has found that many people who intend to be active do not consistently translate that intention into action. (1)
That doesn’t mean knowledge is unimportant. It means knowledge is only one part of behaviour change.
Our brains are always learning
One of the things I’m interested in exploring through BE WELL is how our brains learn from experience.
When we repeat a behaviour in a familiar situation, it can become more automatic. This is useful because we don’t have to consciously think through every little thing we do each day. Imagine having to relearn how to brush your teeth every morning!
A study of everyday habits followed people who chose a simple eating, drinking or activity behaviour to repeat in the same context. The behaviour gradually became more automatic with repetition, although the time it took varied considerably between people and behaviours. Missing one opportunity did not materially disrupt the habit-formation process. (2)
That is a useful reminder that habits can develop through repetition in familiar contexts, not by getting everything right every day.
Perhaps you arrive home tired and automatically reach for a snack while preparing dinner. Or you sit down after a busy day and find yourself scrolling on your phone, even though you had intended to go for a walk.
The interesting question is not simply, “Why did I do that again?” It might be, “What was happening around me, and what had I learned to do in that situation?”
Our surroundings can make a difference
Our environment can also influence how easy or difficult a behaviour is to carry out. One widely used behaviour-change model, called COM-B, describes behaviour as being influenced by capability, opportunity and motivation. Opportunity includes both our physical surroundings and our social environment. It is a useful way of recognising that knowing what to do is not always enough if the circumstances around us make it difficult to follow through. (3)
Think about arriving home tired and hungry. If there is a nourishing meal already prepared, that choice may be easier. If there is nothing ready and you have very little time, the same intention may be much harder to act on.
Or perhaps you want to walk more regularly. Having your shoes somewhere easy to find, a familiar route, or a time that fits your day may help make that intention more practical.
These are not guarantees of change. They are simple examples of how changing something in our environment might make the choices we want to make easier to access.
The people around us matter too
Our social environment is another part of the picture.
A supportive friend, family member, coach or community may offer encouragement, practical help or simply someone to share the journey with. Research suggests that our social environment and the support available to us can influence health behaviours such as physical activity and eating, although what helps and how much can vary between people and circumstances. (4)
For some people, support might mean having someone to walk with. For others, it might mean sharing meal preparation, having a conversation about what they need, or finding a community where they feel encouraged.
And if someone is struggling alone, that is worth recognising too. The question becomes, “What support do I have, and what support might I need?”
I’ve seen the value of this in my own life too. Being part of the Betty Rocker community gave me a sense of belonging and encouragement around movement. When my sons were still living at home, being able to work out together made exercise something we could share. And as I learnt more about nutrition, my family became my willing testers, trying the healthier meals and recipes I was creating along the way.
Looking back, I can see that these experiences weren’t just about exercise and food. Having people around me to share them with made learning, experimenting and making changes more enjoyable. It also helped some of those changes become part of everyday life.
Understanding creates another possibility
This is where curiosity can be helpful.
Instead of immediately judging a behaviour, we can begin to notice what influences it. Was I tired? Hungry? Looking for comfort? Following a familiar routine? Was the choice I wanted to make difficult to access? Did I have the support I needed?
We may not always know the answer, and there may be several influences at once. But becoming more aware gives us information we can use.
And that information can help us experiment with something different.
Perhaps preparing lunch the night before makes a nourishing choice easier. Perhaps putting your walking shoes by the door helps you get started. Perhaps asking a friend to join you makes movement more enjoyable. Or perhaps what you really need is rest, rather than another demand on yourself.
The aim is not to control every choice or get everything right. It is to understand ourselves a little better and discover what helps us make choices that support the life we want to live.
That is the direction I hope to explore through BE WELL – moving from knowing what supports us towards understanding how we can make it work in everyday life.
Introducing BE WELL
The more I explore the gap between knowing and doing, the more I realise that making a healthy change is rarely just about knowing what to do.
It is also about understanding ourselves.
What influences our choices? What makes something easier or harder? What have we learned through experience? And how can we use that understanding to support ourselves in everyday life?
It is not another set of rules to follow, and it is not about getting everything right. It is a way to become more aware, get curious, and discover small, realistic changes that support our health and wellbeing.
What does BE WELL stand for?
B – Become aware
Notice your thoughts, feelings, body and behaviours without judgement.
E – Explore
Get curious about what influences you – your experiences, environment, habits and needs.
W – Work with yourself
Use what you learn to support yourself, rather than fighting against yourself.
E – Experiment
Try small, realistic changes and discover what works for you.
L – Learn
Reflect on what helped, what didn’t, and what you might do differently.
L – Live well
Bring those small changes into everyday life in a way that feels sustainable and meaningful.
BE WELL isn’t a set of steps you have to follow in a particular order. They are ideas you can return to whenever you need it.
Want to keep the BE WELL framework handy?
Download the full BE WELL framework as a printable PDF
What might BE WELL look like in everyday life?
Imagine you’ve planned to go for a walk, but when the time comes, you don’t feel like going. You might immediately think, “I really should go. Why can’t I just make myself do it?”
BE WELL invites you to approach that moment with curiosity instead.
Perhaps you’re tired and need rest. Perhaps getting started feels difficult, but a shorter walk would suit you. Or perhaps having someone to walk with would make it more enjoyable.
There isn’t one answer that will be right every time. The idea is to notice what’s happening, explore what might be influencing you, and discover what could help.
You don’t always have to change what you’re feeling or doing. Sometimes, simply recognising where you’re at is enough. And when you’re ready, you can get curious about what might help.
A simple place to begin
You don’t need to remember all six letters to start practising BE WELL. You can begin with just three questions:
- Notice – What’s happening for me right now?
Perhaps you’re tired, hungry, stressed, distracted, or simply not motivated. - Get curious – What might be making this difficult?
Is it the time of day? A familiar habit? Your surroundings? A lack of support? Or something else? - Choose one small thing – What could help?
Perhaps you prepare something nourishing, take a shorter walk, ask someone to join you, or decide that rest is what you need today.
For example, you might arrive home tired and hungry, with no desire to cook. Instead of deciding you’ve failed at healthy eating, you could notice how you’re feeling, recognise that preparing a complicated meal feels difficult, and choose something simple and nourishing.
That is BE WELL in practice: noticing, getting curious, and finding a way to work with yourself.
You may not always know what is influencing you, and you won’t always make the choice you intended. That is part of learning. The aim is not to control every decision, but to understand yourself a little better and discover what helps.
Over time, we can explore each part of BE WELL more deeply – looking at what the science can tell us, how it connects with nutrition and everyday wellbeing, and what it might look like in real life.
Because the aim is not simply to know more about health.
It is to understand ourselves a little better, so we can make choices that support the life we want to live.
A little reflection
When it comes to looking after your health and wellbeing, what feels hardest for you right now? If you feel comfortable sharing, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Your experiences and questions can help shape what we explore together through BE WELL.
And if you’d rather simply reflect on the question yourself, that’s okay too.
Sometimes, simply recognising where you’re at is enough.
Ready for a simple place to begin?
If you’d like a little practical support putting some of these ideas into everyday life, my 5 Day Wellness Challenge is a great place to start.
It’s about taking small, achievable steps to support your wellbeing without feeling like you need to change everything at once.
Join the FREE 5 Day Wellness Challenge here.
Simple. Nourishing. Repeatable.
References:
(1) Feil, K., Fritsch, J. & Rhodes, R.E. 2023, ‘The intention-behaviour gap in physical activity: a systematic review and meta-analysis of the action control framework’, British Journal of Sports Medicine, vol. 57, no. 19, pp. 1265–1271. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37460164/
(2) Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C.H.M., Potts, H.W.W. & Wardle, J. 2010, ‘How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world’, European Journal of Social Psychology, vol. 40, no. 6, pp. 998–1009. https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.674
(3) Michie, S., van Stralen, M.M. & West, R. 2011, ‘The behaviour change wheel: A new method for characterising and designing behaviour change interventions’, Implementation Science, vol. 6, article 42. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21513547/
(4) Scarapicchia, T.M.F., Amireault, S., Faulkner, G. & Sabiston, C.M. 2017, ‘Social support and physical activity participation among healthy adults: a systematic review of prospective studies’, International Review of Sport and Exercise Psychology, vol. 10, no. 1, pp. 50–83; Moore, S.E., McMullan, M., McEvoy, C.T., McKinley, M.C. & Woodside, J.V. 2019, ‘The effectiveness of peer-supported interventions for encouraging dietary behaviour change in adults: a systematic review’, Public Health Nutrition, vol. 22, no. 4, pp. 624–644.
https://doi.org/10.1080/1750984X.2016.1183222 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30501679/
